🔥 You can’t just be ready to lead you have to be willing.
And sometimes, willingness isn’t built in boardrooms. Sometimes, it starts underwater.🐠
When I was 17, my dad gave me the gift of psychological safety—not with words, but with presence. He looked at me before my first scuba dive and said: “You’re ready. I’m here. Let’s explore another world.”
That world was the ocean. 🌊
Learning to scuba dive wasn’t about equipment or training—it was about trust. It was about saying yes when my nervous system wanted to say no. 🤿 🐟 🐬
That first dive taught me something I didn’t have words for at the time: Willingness in its purest form is choosing to stay present in uncertainty because you know someone’s got your back.
Fast forward 23 years—and that first yes didn’t just make me a diver. It made me a different kind of leader. Because willingness isn’t a checkbox. It’s what makes lasting change possible—for leaders, teams, and systems.
Willingness is not about saying yes to everything. It’s not about being agreeable or even emotionally expressive.
It’s about inner alignment—the grounded, nervous-system-backed decision to stay engaged with growth, even when the outcome is uncertain.
Willingness is the difference between performing leadership and embodying it. It means:
🧠 I’m emotionally available.
💬 I’m not shut down.
🫀 I’m not over-functioning out of fear.
Willingness is not the same as readiness or openness.
Openness is a social posture—how you relate to the world around you. We will dive into this construct next week.
Where as, willingness is internal. It’s the choice to lean in, even when every pattern in your body wants to pull away.
🌱 Willingness isn’t a mindset—it’s a signal from your nervous system that says, “I’m available.” Not because you’re fearless or overprepared, but because you’ve chosen to stay present, even when it’s uncomfortable.
It’s the internal, embodied capacity to consciously engage with change—even when there’s uncertainty, fear, or emotional risk. It’s what allows a leader to say:
“This might push my limits—but I trust myself enough to try.”
Unlike readiness, which is about capacity—willingness is about when your internal alignment meets availability. And it’s the difference between burnout-driven leadership… and embodied, sustainable change.
📊 Research & Data
- Harvard Business Review (2023): Emotionally available leaders create 2.3x more trust and retention.
- McKinsey (2023): 84% of executives feel “ready,” but only 39% feel safe enough to act.
- Ogden (2022): The nervous system must perceive safety and agency for change to stick.
- Cozolino (2014): Resistance is rarely cognitive—it’s somatic protection.
- Siegel (2021): Willingness activates trust and emotional regulation pathways in the brain.
🧬 When I left corporate America, I had strategy, skills, and a plan. I was technically ready.
But I wasn’t willing.
Because willingness asked me to let go of:
- The pride I carried in never needing help or, even asking for it. I would just say, “I got it”.
- The habits of high-functioning survival
- The illusion of respect and control through over-performance; I thought the more I did the more willing I to lead I became.
Willingness came when I finally paused long enough to hear my body say, 'This way isn’t working anymore.'
It wasn’t about surrender. It was about choosing presence over performance.
🧠 Willingness is a biological signal. It arises when your nervous system feels safe enough to stay present in discomfort.
It is not compliance. It is not pushing through.
It is staying in the room with yourself when every part of you wants to flee.
Somatic safety, not strategy, is the precondition for willingness.
That’s what separates temporary action from sustainable transformation.
🧓 If you’ve been stuck, spiraling, or speeding up just to cope—pause
Ask yourself: “What part of me is not available right now?”
Willingness means:
- You can say “this is hard” and still lead
- You can feel overwhelmed and still show up
- You can slow down and still move forward
This is leadership. Not the absence of fear—but the decision to stay with yourself through it.
📣 Call to Action
You don’t have to be fearless. You just have to be willing.
If you're leading a team, shifting culture, or navigating growth—you can’t fake willingness. It’s the internal alignment that makes transformation real.
Try this:
- You don’t need to be fearless. But you do need to be available.
- You can feel scared and still show up sincerely.
- You can be uncertain and still say yes to learning.
- Your nervous system doesn’t need to be silent—it needs to be involved.
Willingness is what moves leadership from strategy to embodiment.
✅ 5 Ways to Practice Willingness Tomorrow
1. Pause Before You React 🧠
Ask: “What part of me is trying to protect me right now?”
That inquiry is willingness in action.
2. Name One Honest Emotion 🗣
Try: “I’m feeling [real emotion]—and I’m available to engage.”
Model presence without oversharing.
3. Soften One Habitual “No” 🧘♀️
Choose one default reaction (e.g., “That won’t work”) and replace it with:
“Say more—I’m open to understanding.”
4. Make Space Before You Say Yes ⏸️
Ask: “Can I check in with my capacity and respond by [X]?”
5. Check Your Nervous System, Not Just Your Calendar 🫀
Before saying yes, ask:
“Am I willing—or just acting from habit?”
📚 References
Cozolino, L. (2014). The Neuroscience of Human Relationships: Attachment and the Developing Social Brain.
Harvard Business Review. (2023). Vulnerability and Retention: The Future of Human-Centered Leadership.
McKinsey & Company. (2023). The Leadership Safety Gap: Readiness vs. Willingness.
Ogden, P. (2022). The Pocket Guide to Sensorimotor Psychotherapy.
Siegel, D. J. (2021). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are.